Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
