break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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