I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
