Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
