I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
