the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
They have beer where we have blood.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
