is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
