it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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