he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
