Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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