Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just sucked dick on a ferry
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
