508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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