drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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