I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
