apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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