there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
