Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
