Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
