I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
