well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
