well I can't set my house on fire every night
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
