everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
