I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
