im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
