HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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