he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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