I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
