Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She's the barista slut.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
