The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize