The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
