actually, I'm a sock model
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
