He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
