Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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