I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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