he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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