Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
