we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
