my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
my poor anus
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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