my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize