Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize