You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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