i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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