should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
