You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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