we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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