I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
