I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
