Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
