like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
