I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
