I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
