bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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