sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize