like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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