No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize