At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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