Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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