I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
