Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
