Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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