I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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