I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
