I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize