Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Your dad touched me again.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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