I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
