He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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