So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
