I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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