that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
