Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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